There was this guy. Lets call him Fred (It ain’t his real name). We were the best of friends. Im talking about him being my closest friend. We shared every type of secret. We sometimes (actually most of the times) would get flirty with each other but nothing serious really ever happend. Then, i never thought we would ever be together i would always talk to him about my dates too if i ever went on one. I was involved with another guy when one day, we were out with a couple of friends and Fred too was also there. We all talked and stuff then it got late and everybody left. It was only me and Fred. I guess he had feelings for me then because we were climbing down some stairs when he pulled me in and kissed me. The strangest thing is that i never stopped him. I actually enjoyed it and i kissed him back. We made out for like 20 minutes until i got a call from home. I left there, told him i was heading home and he told me that we’ll talk. The next day i ended things with the other guy. Fred is usually a very shy guy so i never thought he would ever do that. Suprisingly the next day he expressed his feelings for me and that they were pretty early on and i told him i too had feelings for him. Thats when we started dating. And even after that it was like nothing had changed. I mean he was still my best friend and i could still talk to him about anything and him me and i felt so lucky having found that in a partner. I truly sincerely thought that i found my soul mate. We had fights. Quite many actually. He had a drinking and smoking problem. I always was patient with him and i told him to try and stop. He kept giving me empty promises that he’d stop, and he did (or thats what i thought) turns out he continued behind my back. We dated for six months and then he just changed. He never then used to tell me anything anymore. I would keep telling him that i was the only one making the effort and he didnt care. He one day told me he was lost in life and he dint have a meaning and that hurt me real bad. This was because he had some family problems and his addiction on top. He was a mess but i was so naive thinking that i would be the one to bring him back. He was fine for six months. Totally smitten. They were the best six months of my life. He then just totally changed and became this other different person who closed himself of from any kind of feelings. I still had hope that he’d go back to the way he was. Giving him chances after chances but he would always hurt my feelings every other day. He then told me that he loved me but he couldnt change the way he is. And that i was better off alone. I begged him to open up to me but he wouldnt. Thats how our relationship ended. This was a year ago since he dumped me, and explaining this now it just feels like yesterday. I not only lost a boy friend but i lost my best friend too. That truely crushed me. When we broke up i deleted his number and never contacted him again. I usually never talk to my exes once we are done. I keep wondering sometimes how he’s doing, if he ever has had another girlfriend, if he ever thinks about me. I guess ill never know.