Somewhere early January, I found someone that was exactly what I wanted all my life. Smart, funny, handsome, sarcastic, intelligent, calm and whatnot. Basically, the man after my own heart. He was a guest in my hotel while I was a waitress. We were together until the last week of February, post which he had to go back to Belgium. We fought, made up, laughed, cried (well mostly me because he was leaving haha). Whatever a couple does, we did. Went on as many dates as we could. Most “dates” were just give or take ten minutes in each other’s arms because neither of us had the time. I think my paranoia started after he left. We didn’t end things, neither did we say that we’re still together. I wanted things to be clear, I pressurized him, big mistake. Many events came into picture where I know I’m at fault. Him leaving was my fault too. It’s been two months since we spoke. Everything has gone downhill since then. My work life is messed up, my personal life is messed up, my family relations are messed up. Without him, I feel lonely and dead on the inside. Listening to songs like “Lay me down” by Sam Smith or “the only exception” by Paramore make me cry. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of him. I think I’m losing my mind. One day, I will pick myself up.