I hope getting this off my chest helps.
This may be the wrong place for this, but
I have a broken heart for a different reason. I’m the one that was the jerk. I started seeing someone about a year and a half ago and I was quickly drawn to her. We had been acquaintances for several years prior and she had became single so we went out several times and got close. I fell in love with her and it terrified me but I was scared to tell her out of fear of her pushing me away. She was still recovering from her divorce so I continued to let things take it’s course. Nearly a year approached and we still weren’t “official.” Was it me? Was I someone she was holding on to until someone “better” came along? That was usually the case with someone that I really liked or in this case fell in love.
I was a coward NOT to discuss this with her so I searched for a “back-up” in case history did indeed repeat itself. For months i was seeing two women, until it recently exploded in my face. I truly do wish I could rewind time so I could do things different. I know I can’t do that. I have to live with this the rest of my life knowing i hurt the woman I love. I do feel bad about the other one. She has just an innocent bystander. I will apologize in the near future once the dust settles
Currently I’m working to make things right. We had a date last night and things went well. We may work it out, or the pain may be so strong she may walk away. If she does the latter I deserve it. I don’t want to let her go without a fight. I think she’s worth it.
This is not intended for strangers to have pity on me I’m the one that messed up. I had a good thing and because of previous relationships I stuck my head between my legs and sabotaged everything. This goes for both men and women. If you meet someone that you know is right, you will know. I can’t explain it, but trust me you do know. If you ever get that feeling, you better grab it. Don’t be afraid of rejection. Don’t be afraid of being hurt and don’t be ignorant like me. GO AFTER IT!!! I’ve had many broken hearts, but none of those are as bad as the one that I caused myself.
I just hope and pray that I can have a second chance. I may not deserve it, but I can guarantee I won’t mess it up again.
Thanks to everyone who read. It feels good to get this off my chest