Michelle M

It’s that feeling that runs down your spine as if your nervous system knows the harm that is to come.

It’s the rush that you get when you kiss someone for the first time.

That thought that runs through your head, “ Was the timing perfect?”, “Should I have waited?”, “Wow am I dreaming?”

And it’s even the ridiculous amount of times you replay it in your head.

But then after its all over,

Your body takes on a hurt so strong no amount of vodka can erase his name off your mind.

You see, the vodka tastes as sweet as his lips did when he kissed you so passionately you claimed he would love you forever.

Love, is a feeling similar to that as when you try a drug for the first time.

You live in a high so vibrant and perfect that just for a second the world around you stops and nothing else maters, but how much can you take before it’s all over?

Love is a feeling so unrealistic to any other emotion experienced by a human being.

Many people see love through many things.

But you see, my “Love” was disguised as a 17 year old boy

“Love” wore glasses and had long hair that he would move out of his face every 10 seconds.

“Love” bit its nails and loved to hold my hand, and man did I love holding its.

“Love” would grab my face when he kissed me and after he was done would smile and tell me he loved me over and over and over again.

Love was you.

See you taught me to not only love you, but love myself.

You held me so tight and protected me. Your touch was so soft, warm, and welcoming.

See you were my 3 o’ clock thought and 12 o’ clock laughs.

You were the person I chose to love, the person I chose over anything.

Love was you.

I portrayed love to be so special, as if it would melt all my worries and doubts away.

But I was tragically wrong, and love began to turn his back to me.

See now love no longer wanted to hold my hand, or kiss me, or tell me he loved me after I gave up my body to him every night.

Love no longer saw me for who I was, he no longer had a smile on his face when he would see me.

Eventually love found it’s way out.

“You don’t seem happy anymore” those were the last words you told me the night before you chose her flesh over mine.

See love doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore, but wants all of her.

But can you see that loving you was the last thing i was actually good at?

I dipped my hands in a forbidden forever, i was good to you.

Now its all over and you took the last bit off love I had left.

I crave your touch, but you don’t deserve mine anymore.

I will now say goodbye to the last good thing that was mine.

I’ll see you soon love, maybe in the next life time.

Think of me, or maybe don’t, but never forget me.

But it was nice to say that

Love was you.

Posted in Heart Break.