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Lupe A

I was with my now ex for 5 months. We fought constantly and every fight got worse. I love him a lot but every fight he would say things like “I don’t love you anymore,” “You are a piece of shit,” and “You do not deserve me.” Quite recently we got in a fight because he made me feel like he didn’t trust me, and I was just so hurt from a fight we had that I exploded. I told him not to talk to me anymore, and he listened. It has been two weeks. I talked to him today he told me he moved on, that he doesn’t care anymore, and that he is happy to be without me. I also got his valentines day gift today. I called him 73 times. He hung up on me 73 times. I keep thinking I deserve better but I cannot stop thinking about his crystal clear blue eyes, his lips and his golden hair. I know we should never be together but I miss him like crazy. Yet, the way he encouraged his friends to call me garbage and how he screams at me plays in my head ever time I think about being with him. How can you be with someone who constantly tells you they love you then show you otherwise? I don’t know what to do. I do not know how to move on.

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