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We met at a birthday party. I missed all of the signals he was sending me. My best friend had to point them out, and I didn’t believe her. My friend and I left the party early because we wanted to dance… We were those girls.
In the cab on the way to the bar, my friend finally convinced me that I did indeed have an admirer and bet me a drink that he would show up at the bar. He did, moments after we arrived.
He asked all of the right questions. He listened. He made me feel so noticed and important and interesting.
We both fell hard and fast. We tried to take our time. About two months in, he found out that he was going to be transferred to another state for his job at the end of the summer. We decided to keep seeing each other and reevaluate when he left.
We never exactly ended things, but we both melted down in a bar a couple nights before he left. We texted and apologized.
It’s been almost 6 months since he left, and we only dated for about 4. But I cannot let go. I’ve written a book of poems. I’ve tried to date. I’ve gone to yoga, taken up meditation, changed my job, tried acupuncture. Nothing makes the pain go away.
We still talk every now and then. He’s read the poems. He’s opened up about feeling depressed since we ended. But he won’t admit to any feelings still being there for him. I feel like a pathetic mess. I’m worried I lost the only person who matters.

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