K and I had known each other since we were 11. He was always the quiet mysterious type, and loved by all. We were best friends, and he had been with me through it all. I remember being 15 and so enamored by him, and giddy when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We were together for nearly 8 years when he broke up with me; just 13 days short of what would have been our anniversary. He told me he had been thinking about breaking up with me since he moved to LA, 7 months prior to that moment. We had spent the holidays together, and took trips to and from LA to be together. Throughout our whole relationship, I felt like I came in second place to everything in his life – school, sports, family, friends, everything. I stayed patient, waiting for the day he’d put me first. I was so ready to start this new chapter in our lives together post-grad once he got his job.
Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same. His little taste of independence made him hungry for more, and just like that, he wanted me out of his life. For months I thought something was wrong with me, and I asked him if there was. He told me there wasn’t, and that it was all him, which is true. It is all him. He said he wanted his independence, and to start dating other people, but he “wasn’t ready yet.” Barely 2 months after breaking up with me, he gets serious with another girl he met through a dating app. I do my best to be okay with it, but seeing it all over social media drove me crazy. That was me. That could’ve been me. It should’ve been me.
I decided to unfollow him on my social media accounts. Not because I hate him or I want him out of my life, but because I need to heal. It’s been 5 months, and it still hurts. He seemed upset, but says he understands. I’m not really sure if he does. I do wish him all the best, and I’m happy for him. But I need to focus on making myself happy.