Joseph

I met this guy online (Grindr…I really thought it was a dating app lol) I wasn’t interested at first when he messaged me with, “HOT!” So I told myself, “If he asks for nudes or wants to hook up, just ignore him.” He never brought up any of those topics and we ended up chatting for a few hours.

We eventually exchanged numbers and would message each other. After a couple of weeks of texting, we decided to meet up at his work. He worked at an animation studio and took me on a tour. He even took me to a secret room (one of those bookcase hidden doors) to just talk. He told me he recently broke up with his boyfriend of four years. We got to know each other a little better that night.

While walking me to my car, he caught me off guard and kissed me. I was 26 at the time, recently came out to a few friends, never been on a date, and never been kissed. He thought it would be nice to have my first kiss come from him.

We would message each other back and forth and we met up once more. After talking over some coffee at night, we headed back to my car and had a bit of a steamy Titanic moment in the backseat. We didn’t go all the way, but still, it meant a lot to me.

He would always text me to see how I’m doing, sometimes just to say hi. A month later, the texts stopped coming. He felt distant. I thought I did something wrong. He stopped complimenting me. His responses would just be one or two words. Our texts would be like this the next 2 years.

Couple years later, I found his ex boyfriend on social media. He would always refer to him as his ex whenever he would talk about him to me. However, his “ex” had a profile pic of the both of them looking happy. Of course, I did some snooping around and deduced that they never broke up. I felt disgusted that I was the one he was cheating with.

I also felt disgusted that he had a boyfriend this entire time, and he was constantly logged on to Grindr. Who knows how many guys he’s hooked up with or flirted with.

When I would confront him about being in a relationship, he said he still hangs out with his ex and are just friends. A couple months later, I find out they’re engaged.

I thought I would get over him by now. He was the first person I fell in love and felt loved back after coming out. He made me feel wanted, only to be lied to. I still think about him. I feel sorry for the person he’s marrying. His fiancé has no idea how many times he’s hooked up with other guys.

Posted in Heart Break.