We met once in a bar about a year ago, exchanged pleasantries and went our way.
About a week later he pops up on my “People You May Know” tab on social media. I knew he looked familiar and after asking him, he confirmed he was the cute guy I saw at the bar. We had a date a couple weeks later and I have been completely in love with him since we met.
He dumped me 4 days ago and I feel like the void in my chest is going to suck me in like a black hole until I disappear; and to be honest, I kind of want it to.
This has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I know everyone says this but he really was the most patient, understanding and compassionate human being I’ve ever met. He was constantly reminding me how smart, beautiful and funny he thought I was. And as he would say, a “badass chick.” He never cheated, and all of my past relationships except one, I’ve been cheated on.
The worst part of it all is that I took advantage of him, without even seeing it. He was so amazing, and I let other things become my priority. I put work in front of him, I put no thought into what I was doing. But now, its all I can think about. Now I just feel like I got what I deserved.
I would give anything to have one more chance with him. To devote myself to this man; to support him in everything, and to show him the love he showed me. He deserves it all.
He tells me he still loves me and just needs to take care of himself right now, and he’s right. But I can’t stop thinking that he hates me, because I hate me too. He says that we don’t know the future and we could be together again, but I feel no hope.
Only pain.
Only darkness.
Only emptiness.
Only void.
This group helps, though.