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I’m from Brazil, moved to the States on an exchange program.

After 8 months of being mistreated by my host family, I decided to rematch and end up in Chicago.

A month later, my host family was amazing, all I could’ve asked for.. So I went to this party and I met him. It was magical.

It was fireworks. He was everything I ever wanted. The begging was great.

I was his first girlfriend, he is a little younger than me but who cares, right?!

Well, I don’t know if it was a matter of age or character.. 3 months later my world started to fall apart.

I got an STD. From him. He was cheating.. we broke up. We got back together.. he cheated again, I got another STD. We broke up, we got back together..

At some point I lost track of how many times the circle repeated itself.. Until I started finding another girls things in his room.. but I still loved him..

I still wanted him. He said he would marry me so that I could stay in the US.

But he changed that. He said he would marry me if it was an open marriage.

He said I loved him more than he loved me.

That he would marry me because he had to do me that favor.. so we broke up again.

I felt, I feel like I’ve hit the bottom. I lost everything.

I keep trying to date again and feel like I am never going to find that spark again. That I am never going to feel what he made me feel again.

After all he has done to me, I still love him and I can’t seem to be able to put my heart back together.

For a year he was the reason I wanted to stay in the States and now he is the reason why I’m going home.

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