Naz,
I was 21 when I got into my first serious & long term relationship. I have always been picky, but for some reason this whole relationship started as a fairy tale. I didn’t overthink what I though about him..it just clicked. Long story short, throughout the next 5 years, I slowly found out that he was addicted to pills.
I started finding pill cases in his dresser drawers with names on the bottles that were not his. I also found pills in his cigarettes every so often and he frequently got phone calls from strange guys. At the time, I was SO in the dark about addiction and drugs, that when he told me he flushed them, or they were from a long time ago…I believed him.
One day, we woke up after an emotional night after talking a lot about our future, and he ended up calling his boss and quitting on the spot (did I mention he worked for my Dad’s company?!). Upon quitting, he expressed to be that he needed to go to rehab…not for pills, but for heroin and meth. I was completely shocked and devastated to say the least. I researched rehabs, contacted his insurance company, and found a case worker to help him out. He ended up going to a shady rehabilitation center and unfortunately, only stayed for a week, and left. We finally told his family and they were gracious enough to pay for another nice and more accommodating treatment center closer to home.
He stayed there for a month and promised that we would start our lives together (finally) after he got out. After 30 days, he got out and we started living together. It was the life I have been fighting for for the past 5 years.
One day (about 30 days after leaving rehab), his friend told me he thinks he is using again. I was in complete disbelief, but it ended up being true. After finding out that he stole my registration tags off of my car when we were in an argument months before, realizing he was lying to me about having a sponsor, and finally coming to the conclusion that this disease is stronger than the love I have for him…I had to leave him.
We broke up almost 3 years ago. Since then, I got a restraining order on him, he met someone and got married after 4 weeks of being together, they both have been to jail and rehab numerous times, and have acquired multiple felonies.
I have a wonderful family, great friends, a Masters Degree, and an overall good person. This guy challenged me, but this made me stronger. I got through it. I never thought I would. I still deal with him trying to contact me, and me contacting him at times as well. Not because of love, but I worry about him and his well being everyday. My heart is still recovering from the situation, but the fact that progress is made everyday allows me to continuously remain hopeful that one day my past won’t affect my future. One foot in front of the other, everyday.