A letter to my ex – m&m

I think in the last four years, out of everyone i met at school and befriended, only really two people really knew me through and through. And i broke both of those peoples hearts. One of those was you. You knew me. You knew me before you met me. And i knew you before i met you. We knew each other like the back of our own hands. You knew every part of me. And now that you are gone, now that i don’t have you anymore, i cant seem to remember who i am anymore. Its like you took me with you and I’m lost. Im drowning and just trying to keep up. But i forget. I forget who i am. I was only ever me when i was with you. And you are gone so now who am i?
I don’t sing anymore. I don’t remember how to.

And Its like everyones talking talking talking about us. About our business. but what about us? When do i get a say? Why do these people get to say how i feel and what I’m feeling? None of these people know me. So how do they know how i am feeling and why i am the way that i am? When do i get to speak me and my true thoughts? Not a single person cares to talk directly to me. And ask me. Especially you. This is about you and me. So why would you trust anyone other than me?
I would tell you anything you wanted to know. The truth. The whole truth. And every detail. I don’t care. Because what it comes down to is that i still love you. And honestly i will always love you. I will never stop loving you. I am always going to love you. Im so sick of living every single day of my life and second of my day missing you and thinking about you. And knowing that you don’t know that.
Im sorry i wasted so much time missing you. I wasted so much time thinking about you. But i don’t know how to stop. It feels like my boyfriend died. He just suddenly died with no explanations. And now i just have to live my life without him. Not knowing why. And not having reasons. And never getting to say goodbye. That is what this feels like.
Heart Break.
I broke your heart so you broke mine right back.
Fair.
We are even.
Congratulations.

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