L – HEART BROKEN ANONYMOUS

L

I had just moved to the city when I met him. Everything here was brand new, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Our personalities were so different, yet we clicked. I had been on several bad dates, but with him, the first date seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. For the first time in five years, I felt connected to someone and it happened so quickly. He wasn’t anything I had in mind for the kind of person I wanted to date, but somehow… it worked. There were rocky moments and after 7 months, we decided to put the breaks on our relationship. Then, just 3 weeks later, it started up again after he reached out. Soon after, I was sexually assaulted by a man in my apartment complex and he became my refuge. I thought for certain we were rebuilding our relationship and getting back together. Then all the sudden I didn’t hear from him for a few days, and my roommate came home from work (they worked together) and told me he had a new girlfriend. I felt so foolish. Girlfriend? How could I have not known? Why didn’t he tell me? And, what kind of person wants to purposefully hurt another like that. He wanted to make sure I found out in the most unpredictable, hurtful way.. which was a synopsis of the majority of our relationship. He had his sweet moments, but they were always counteracted by the little jabs here and there that seemed to come off as a joke, but really were an indication of his deep insecure self. It’s been nearly 6 months since we spoke, and I know it’s better that way…but I still struggle. It still feels like a slap in the face, and the idea of trusting someone with my heart again is really difficult. But I know I will and that one day, this will fully pass. It’s only made me stronger and more independent. I have worked really hard to find peace in the situation, and create my own clarity.. my own closure. I know I’ll get there.

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