Elle – HEART BROKEN ANONYMOUS

Elle

I met this amazing man at my job , we can say love at first sight bumping heads when we would cross paths . We had much in common, from hiking to the wonder list of catching the train to santamonica beach . We made it official on November 2016 , we spent Christmas together, he was a midwestern guy from Illinois and I was just an extraordinary California gal , those were the differences , we never argued, we were both the dork couple . When we first met he always talked about going back to Illinois due to family , I would 100% be homesick if I were him , never once have I told him not to go , I always said follow your heart ! he got fed up with his job and he would vent to me (even though we both worked in the same shitty job) about how bad work was , I would be the cheer upper ! As well as “do things that would get your mind running when your bored at work or to get motivated “ on March 2017 he popped the question “ let’s go to Illinois “ I was very icky about it , just because I’m leaving my not so great job but I was in a great place , I told him how I felt about everything, he just said it’ll be okay , we booked a flight on April 26, jee was I still contemplating! But maybe it was a calling for me to be with him and experience the midwest life ! I picked and packed my life with me I was excited now , that day was the day ! A 4 hour flight I was nervous (yes i met his family when they would come to California for vacation) we were going to live together. When I got there man was I happy to meet the rest of his family , instant connection, I’ve always been the shy type but I was a complete memeber . I loved it . May 2017 things seem to be getting great he got a job at yelp and I was searching. He graduated for law enforcement/ I graduated for child development . Mid may started getting rocky he didn’t like his job until I made him tell me he disliked it , he would tell his family during dinner how good it was but I knew it wasn’t what he wanted I tried to console him and tell him it was going to be okay and maybe apply for something he actually enjoys! (So he did) he wasn’t much determined he didn’t want to work in law enforcement, he told me his parents paid for his college and he felt guilty because he didn’t want to be what they wanted him to be . His mother soon told me we would be going on my first vacation to Missouri!!!( But he would work ) we were still talking about his job and he told me he wanted to quit , so I said do whatever you feel like doing but think about it , the date was coming to go on vacation and he calls me telling me pack up we are going on vacation!!! I was shocked he missed lunch , took the train back home and me and his sister were shook ! But we understood, his brother started making jobs because I got hired and I also would babysit his brother daughter (I was getting paid) he would say I was going to take care of him lol me and his brother would make fun of him . Vacation came and I very much enjoyed boat rides lake of the ozarks ! Things got bumpy once we came back we went out a lot to drink out with his friends, and I stayed with his mother , I ended up getting a pregnancy test because I was feeling off it was now June . It came out positive. I told him and he was happy , he went out that night and I knew something was going to happen, he ended up coming home at 5am next day and I was furious!! I couldn’t believe it . I was upset. For gods sake i didn’t know who he was with I started to think the worst , but he was coming home to me , I guess he started getting to comfortable as in he can come home whenever even though we lived with his parents . His parents went out for the day and me and him were home , I was upset so I asked what happened, he said nothing much he went to Chicago ( we lived in the burbs) with his old pals from his last job there and super wasted , something wasn’t adding up , so I asked numerous times until a girl texted him ( no I didn’t go through his phone , his phone lit up and the girl texted him “ hey sorry for the awkwardness, it was nice seeing you maybe we can all hang out again” he said he hitched an Uber . I asked him again and again and he finally said “ I got drunk I’m sorry , she only brought me back home that’s it nothing happened “ then He admitted they had something before us just a one night thing but no relationship. It broke my heart I wanted to go back to California! He didn’t let me go . You can say he made it up with sex (tmi) but I felt like he did that to make me stay . Mind I told him I was pregnant. I scheduled a doctor appointment to see how far along I was , I was 4 weeks pregnant. We were happy now you can say we went on vacation again ( I wanted home ) I was heart broken during vacation, how can someone bring me here and after 2 months break me. July 2017 I told him I wanted home he wasn’t letting me leave , his family stayed in Wisconsin( they were teachers , summer vacation) when we got home he thought I was lying about my pregnancy, he said it was fake I felt like I was getting emotionally/mentally abused by him , he ended up bringing his sister (OB nurse ) and she brought numerous pregnancy test I took them , (all positive. ) I had to go home , but he wanted to figure it out . It’s now August 2017 he went out with his friends , and again 10 am a girl dropped him off . That was it . I was the pregnant girlfriend who lives with him and his family, he admitted they did something , he didn’t care about me or how I felt his family didn’t either!! (Except for his sister in law) she always knew he was very much of a douche . I booked a flight for the first week of September. I was a 2-3 month pregnant. Going home with less now . The nice sweet guy I met wasn’t who I thought. He was texting me through out my pregnancy he would tell me he felt scared ( guilt trip ) I felt like he wanted to tournament me in my pregnancy because he was scared and trying to cope with a baby on the way , I had high anxiety through my pregnancy. I didn’t want to communicate with him because I Wanted to be happy I was teaching during my pregnancy for 2nd graders . The last thing was I don’t want to see his texts. Hes in a relationship with the girl now ( I’m not sure if she knew he had a girl living with him pregnant and she left once they started their relationship) I just wonder how he can texts me his dark secrets when he has a new girlfriend to express how he feels about his baby . It’s july 2018 now and my beautiful baby girl is 3 1/2 months now her name is Mia , I’m so in love . He came to see her in April 14 2018 we had a little family vacation but he didn’t put much effort into trying to change her diapers or burp her , you know the fatherly thing to do . I guess he’s very germ freak . ( he wasn’t there during my delivery ) I don’t think he’s trying hard enough. I’ve been being nice to let him see her when he want but he will see her until September because he’s busy with his job and he only gets certain days to have free time . My friends told me he isn’t busy he’s on vacations with the same girl . He tells me he worry’s for us but that isn’t my problem to comfort him . I’m heartbroken for my mia. She doesn’t have that fatherly love or presence. But I’m happy she has people and her mum to love her . Note to self don’t go across the country to move with someone who wouldn’t do it for you .

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