Elizabeth – HEART BROKEN ANONYMOUS

Elizabeth

So there’s this guy I work with, we’ll call him Jim, I never really spoke to him till a few months ago that’s when we started actually talking to each other. I’m a mother and I recently got out of my relationship with my sons father, and I would openly talk about my issues about my sons father with Jim along with a few others at work, so he eventually reached out to me, told me he understood my struggle and if I ever needed anything or anyone to talk to he’d be there as a friend, Jim has 3 children of his own who he loves dearly, so I knew he sympathized with me. He also has a wife. Later that day he actually messaged me on Instagram giving me his number, so not really thinking about it I decided to shoot him a text. So days and days went by where we texted literally all day every day, we had a lot in common we also had the same kind of humor and we could just talk to each other easily. I eventually questioned him about his wife asking if she cared we talked that much, wondering if she checks him phone, which he said, “she’d have to care first to check my phone” so from there started unraveling their issues to which naturally I tried to give him advice on. Then more and more days went by of non stop texting and we eventually became really close. And one day he confessed he was starting to have strong feelings for me, I was taken back and I felt guilty. I told him I liked him but it’s wrong because he has a wife. I went to a mutual friend of ours and asked her advice since she knows both of us I was really confused, I wanted to be his friend but I didn’t want him having unfaithful thoughts about another woman. She told me to be there for him with whatever he’s going through but just to be careful. So I continued to talk to him like normal and things began to snowball, I found myself having really strong feelings for him. Eventually we just couldn’t hide our feeling nor wanted to. He did cheat on his wife with me on two seperate occasions, all we did was kiss, but the very next day after the second time we did he told her they needed to be separated. I was in shock instantly filled with guilt, but he explained to me it’s something he’s wanted to do for while now and their issues dated back years and she also agreed to it they both felt like it was the right thing. So after that we started actually hanging out he would sleep over and cuddle and talk and talk and everything was perfect we were so happy. We even told each other we loved each other. And I did love him very much he quickly turned into my best friend. I did quickly start to doubt our relationship, I questioned if he thought he’d ever go back to his ex and he assured me over and over that he wouldn’t and he told me hed never abandon me. One day he gets a call from his ex wife, she’s wanting to know how long we’d been sleeping together. She’d apparently gone through all his text messages when he was going see his boys. He quickly tried to clear things up with her and calm her down which I understood. So I gave him a few days of space. And a few more days, then a few more. Eventually I questioned him to see if everything was alright, he told me how his marriage has been messed up for some time but she used to be his best friend and she’s the mother of his children so he needed to at least try to work things out with her, he said he was almost certain she wouldn’t take him back though. Well she did take him back and a couple of weeks went by where he didn’t tell me what really was going on and I was kind of left in the dark. I started to get pretty angry with him I realized he was never actually sure of what he wanted and I was the stand-in that gave him the love and attention his wife wasn’t, and once his wife found out about me and started actually acting like she cared he left me high and dry, he played with my feelings and left me absolutely heart broken. Now I see this person pretty much every single day at work, it absolutely kills me. He says he feels like shit about what he did to me and told me he’ll act anyway towards me that I need and I told him I need to act like we’ve never even met before because even though that kills me, I can’t act all buddy buddy because that hurts even more, so we just literally go about our day like strangers. It hurts to see him, to hear his voice and laugh and what I hate about him the most is that I can’t hate him.

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