I don’t even know where to begin. I fell madly in love with this coworker of mine during my 3 year relationship when I was 19. I cheated on my ex boyfriend with my coworker, I ended up breaking things off with my ex boyfriend . Now I’ve been with my ‘coworker, now current boyfriend’ for about 1 year and a half. It’s been really rocky. I’ve thought about breaking things off with him several times because being with him is so emotionally draining. He does not trust me whatsoever. Constantly treating me like I’m a cheater, saying hurtful words to me. It used to hurt me a lot before, now it just makes me soo angry and at times leaves me feeling emotionless. I lost my dad when I was 15 (being daddy’s little girl). It was a really tought part in my life that I choose not to talk about, but I feel like everytime I ‘almost’ loose someone like that I go into complete panic mode , where I don’t know what to do with myself . I’m afraid that if I loose my current boyfriend I’m going to be in heavy unbearable depression. By the way I’m 21 years old now & was previously pregnate with his baby but lost it . I really love him & can’t picture myself without him, but at the same time I feel like life has been so rough on me , I can’t take anymore. & maybe I deserve this ? He’s so sweet to me but when he argues with me he becomes a monster & blames everything on me . Help me .