Ashley – HEART BROKEN ANONYMOUS

Ashley

The very first time I saw him I knew he was special. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but I just had that feeling about him before I even knew him. He was a student aide in one of my college classes, and when he introduced himself to the class I knew he would be a significant part of my life. I had a boyfriend at the time that I knew wasn’t the one and broke up with him after seeing this guy because of that instant connection. After a few weeks of flirting, he asked me out for dinner and we had an amazing first date. He was my dream guy. Handsome, smart, we enjoyed the same things, had similar sense of humors. Everything was perfect. He treated me like I was his whole world. He planned amazing dates for us, we were totally inseperable. We dated blissfully for a year, then he graduated and moved across the country for work. We planned for me to move in with him when I graduated (a year later). That’s where things changed. Long distance was fine. We got to see each other often. When he would come visit me, it’s like he never left — everything was blissful again. But things were different when I would visit him. He wasn’t happy with his job, and would come home shutdown and not wanting to talk. When I approached him about it, he said he just didn’t enjoy work and it had nothing to do with me. But we still had fun, just some days he didn’t want to talk. I decided to move anyways, he assured me that life would be a lot better when I moved in with him–that he was just lonely and that worked sucked. So after a year apart, I moved to Seattle for him. I had a hard time transitioning because I’m shy and I had no friends. I had no job and it took me a while to find a job I enjoyed. During this whole time my boyfriend had changed completely. He was drinking almost every night to the point of puking, he would get mad at me for doing chores “incorrectly”, or just avoid even making eye contact with me around the house. The worst part is, after a night of drinking and acting like a disgusting slob, the next morning he would shower me with compliments about how hes so grateful for me and that he loves me. I don’t know if he blacked out and didn’t remember how awful he was, or if he felt bad and was trying to make it up to me. Either way, I fell for it and would believe him that things would be different. But they weren’t and they got worse. I put up with this behavior for a year and eventually I moved out thinking that would help to give him space, and it really did seem to at first. Until one day, when we planned to visit my parents together, he decided hours before the flight home that he didn’t want to go. I went without him and he didn’t answer my calls or texts the whole week. I had to call his friends and parents to make sure he was alive because I was that unsure of his state of mind. When I got back, he picked me up from the airport like nothing had happened. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I asked him how he could possibly pretend like nothing had happened. At that point, he told me that he didn’t understand how I couldn’t know what was wrong, how I am lazy and don’t do anything to help around the house, I just come over and do nothing, act bored because we have nothing in common. He was talking like a crazy person, so I told him if that’s how he felt we shouldn’t be together. So I assumed it was over and was fine letting him think it was all my fault. Two weeks later I get a text asking if I want to come over. I assumed he wanted more closure and I needed that too, so I went. Apparently, he thought we were still together. I quickly told him that I assumed we had broken up and that I was so ready to move on. He thought it was a quick decision and was surprised I didnt want to “work through things”. I told him if he wanted to be friends it would be fine, and he said no. That’s when I got pissed again and left. We never really talked about after that other than for me to collect things I had left at this house. He texted me to come hang out once since then and I turned him down. I think what was most heart breaking about this relationship is how confident and in love I was with him. He was my ideal guy until he changed completely. I’m sure some of it was partially my fault for poor communication, but he hid his drinking problem from me and acted like that was never part of the issue. Luckily, I’ve met a wonderful guy, but I have way more trust issues that I did before because of his betrayal and this demon from my past causes issues in my current relationship.

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