I got my heart broken when I was 21 years old, over text on a Saturday morning. It broke me into a million little pieces. I turned to alcohol, crying and not eating to fill the void in my heart. My ex still made me needs shit even after the break up. It’s been a year now and I am still picking myself up. I’ve dated approximately 5 guys since then and none of them worked out. To add to that, my parents are going though a divorce and my dad has abandoned me. In his words, I am “noise” to him.
I used to sleep with my arm serving as a physical shield to my heart and I still do. I am scared of getting hurt again so I fill in the blanks for the guys I’m seeing because I just assume they’ll leave me me. It’s safer than putting myself out there and getting hurt again. I’m scared and I’m tired. I’ve given up on the notion of love and am completely and utterly truly heart broken. The truth is that no one ever stays and love is not meant to last. All the fairytales that movies and books fed us only happen for the lucky ones. In reality, you show people the real you and they leave. Love is for the lucky.